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1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.

2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.

3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.

4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.

5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.

6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.

7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.

8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.

9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.

10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.

Live. Live.

Live.

Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.

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“Nothing hurts a good soul and the kind heart more than to live amongst people who can’t understand it.”

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1. Make a playlist of all your favorite songs, old ones you may have totally forgotten about from middle school or ones that bring back good memories.

2. Take a walk outside. I find I only start to feel worse and wallow if I let myself melt into my bed and engage in the bad feelings.

3. Organize your drawers or closet. It feels good to be productive when you feel like a worthless idiot on the inside. You can look at your clean clothes and feel like a human again.

4. Eat something decadent. Make an ice cream sundae or smores. They’re not just for camping!

5. Go through your phone and delete anyone you no longer talk to or anyone who sucks and makes your life worse.

6. Draw. I have a stack of paper and some colored pencils for just such an occasion. It’s relaxing and fun and won’t stress you out.

7. Call your best friend. No one talks on the phone anymore. I hate it. Let’s all talk in voices!

8. Get some sparkly temporary tattoos and give yourself the weirdest tramp stamp ever. Or decorate your whole arm. Whatever. You know you loved it as a kid.

9. Re-read your favorite book. Highlight the passages that make you love it so much so you’ll never forget them.

10. Start watching “The Wire” or “Arrested Development,” whichever is more your speed at the moment. Indulge in some quality programming to remind yourself life is worth living and people still make good stuff.

11. Read everything you can find about your favorite sports team. If you’re not already, become an expert on the team’s history, statistics and players. It’ll take your mind off you for a while.

12. Go volunteer with animals in some way. Being around cuties and fluffies will brighten your mood, and so will helping those in need.

13. Write someone else a really nice email. Just an out-of-the-blue “thanks for being so great!” email. Why not?

14. Do some yoga poses. You can look them up online if you don’t know any. Try holding them and breathing slowly.

15. Go on Youtube and watch all the “fail” videos you can find. Be grateful you are not that person. Being you isn’t so bad!

16. Light some candles, turn off the lights and meditate for as long as you can hold it.

17. Or do the same and touch yourself. Have a little solo romance, among candles. Are you trying to seduce you?

18. Look up some family genealogy stuff on the internet. Did you know your great-great-great uncle owned a department store in Russia? Now you do! And hey, your ancestors probably had it a lot worse. Since you know, no plumbing and iPhones and stuff.

19. Futz around with your hair. Add some color or see what it would look like curly or in a beehive.

20. Do your make up. Make it look crazy or much thicker than you’d normally wear it. What would you look like as Amy Winehouse or Ke$ha? You’re in the comfort of your own home. Why not see?

21. Eat fruit. Fruit has sugars that can lift your mood. Go for the pineapple and blueberries. Or make yourself a smoothie.

22. If you have a journal, go back and read old entries. Remember all that stuff you cared about a year ago that now doesn’t matter?

23. Smile. Even if you don’t feel like it, sometimes moving the muscles in our face activates chemicals in our brains to lift our moods. Smiling when you don’t want to can actually help you feel better.

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Free Health Coaching!

“If you want something different in 2013, stop making excuses. Embrace the fact that your longing for something better means you are ready for change. You deserve it, you’re ready, and it’s time.”